What is it to know you? And can it be done? You’ve laid beside me, your breath was just as shallow as mine. In those moments I knew we were the same. Same eyes, same mouth and hands.
So why then, do we not fit?
Our bodies are the straight edged pieces of a puzzle that can’t seem to align. I look for openings in you, a space to crawl into. I’m eluded every time.
I’ve listened to your heart beating and it’s in sync with mine. So I know we are the same somewhere deep inside. Is this the hand we have been dealt? To want to be fully known by the other but instead be cast out? What a cruel joke! I play it on you and you play it on me.
We throw stones at each other , miles apart, and cry out when they fall from the sky and land on our skin. Some falling from such great heights that they leave a scar. We bruise easily, you and I.
But still you are the same as me. The beauty that is you Is the beauty in me. My soul knows yours, of that I will always be convinced. Those pieces fit together, every groove and every edge. I must have known you longer than the first time I laid eyes on you.
Our bodies got in the way. Our natural state of being human. The vessel our souls are carried in is broken.
I love you but I drown you, as you do to me. We take turns holding the others head under water. How long can we hold our breath before our lungs give out?
Still I look for you in everything I see. I search for you endlessly, as you must also do for me. This is the fate of you and I. To break whatever beautiful thing we built. We will always tear it down, demolish it, then sit down in reflection at the rubble, in unbelievable sorrow.
You are a beautiful light that glows brightest when I am the furthest from your reach. I only dim you and cast shadows you can’t shine through.
I believe I am loved by someone fully and gracefully. He is a puzzle with no missing pieces, and all edges line up. He has thrown no stones at me and has left me with no scars. The same is true for you. The same love dwells in you. Until we love like Him, we will always break one another.
I find it impossible to love you while knowing you , in the human condition I’m in, so I choose to love you as I leave you. I’ll love you from a distance, so far from me that no stone of mine could ever fall and reach you again.